Tag Archives: personal

While We Wait

So today (or yesterday, depending on who you ask or when you asked me apparently) I am 40 weeks! It’s due date, baby! And yes, I am still sitting here feeling very pregnant and not like that is going to change any time soon. So much for my hunch of him being early.

It’s a weird feeling, when I think about actually having a newborn again. I went to visit a friend and her 4-day-old yesterday and it was so strange to think that I actually have one of those inside of me! And that it is soon going to be outside of me!

I am looking forward to the next 6ish weeks. My mom got here a couple days ago. She was originally going to just come when I went into labour, but she found a good deal on a flight. And it was actually really nice to think of the fact that I had no more days left to entertain the boys on my own. And then at some point Tim’s parents will come, and then later in the month my sister will visit! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love having company! If all goes according to plan, we will drive back to BC with the help of my sister and spend almost 2 weeks there.

I have been thinking of life with three children, and it is a little daunting, mostly when thinking about the winter and being inside most of the time. I know most of my grocery shopping will likely have to be done in the evenings, but Calvin will probably miss Costco if I never take him. And I will actually miss taking the boys grocery shopping more often. They are good and like it, which makes me enjoy it too.

But we live in a small house. I think I am going to have to get into a real good groove when it comes to keeping this place tidy and the kitchen mostly clean. I actually tried washing the dishes every day for a while, but have been quite slacking on it in the past couple weeks. I’m gonna have to get back on that. Once all my dish-washing-company is gone. I kid! But not really. I have wonderful, helpful family members. I think I am also going to get into a habit of inviting people over. We aren’t putting Calvin is preschool yet, but he needs interaction with other people. And I love having people over. I don’t do it nearly enough right now. I will change that.

Also, thinking ahead to life with three boys, I feel like I am going to want more femininity in my life. Like, maybe actually wear jewelry or something! Shocking! The last few times I’ve worn earrings I’ve had to poke it through grown-over skin. And I generally don’t like necklaces because they just get in the way. Scarves too. And my Old Navy Basics wardrobe is getting kind of boring. I don’t know…should I push those aspects of who I am aside, or change who I am, to feel less like a member of a family that is all boys?

Anyway…

Time to get back to my waiting. Hopefully not for more than a day or two! My doctor is on call tonight so she said it’s a good day to have a baby. Let’s see if baby heard her opinion and will heed it.

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Baby #3 is a…

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We are having another baby boy! That will make me a mother of three boys. Oh boy! It seems like a big deal. It’s not really, though. I can name so many people who have three sons. Three of my dad’s siblings have three boys. Even my grandmother had 6 boys in a row before a girl came along! A few families I grew up with also lacked a female child. Life with three boys (maybe more, maybe also with a girl in the future) sure will be exciting!

True Feelings:
I would be lying if I said I didn’t shed a few tears after learning it was a boy and not a girl. It was no secret that I wanted a girl! After I heard, I knew I was going to need a good cry to get it out of my system and then I would be fine. I thought it would wait until I got home, but I actually had my cry when the tech left the ultrasound room to show the photos to the doctor. And since it wasn’t at home, it was just a little cry. But I think it still got it out of my system! No further cry was had! I am all good with it now. I think what helped was the fact that we have the perfect name picked out (and have for some time; we are planners). This gives the baby and identity and a place in our family instead of just being some boy hanging out in my uterus. The thought of having three boys is a little overwhelming and makes me feel tired for my future self. But it will be an adventure. And adventure I am looking forward to! And if he is as cute as those other two up there in that video, it would be hard to not love him!

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Of course when you think of three boys, things like the Three Stooges come to mind. Here are some other groups of famous boys/men that come in three that make me smile.

Clockwise, from top left:
The butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker. Representing the nursery rhymes of our childhood.
Rack, Shack, and Benny. AKA Shadrach, Meshach, and Obednigo, three guys who stood up for what they believed in and experienced first hand what our all-powerful God can do.
Snap, Crackle, and Pop. The mascots for the cereal that can be turned into a deliciously sticky treat! Fun fact: I never liked eating Rice Krispy squares when I was little because they made me sticky.
The Three Kings. Or three wise men. Or three maji. Probably not three, but whatever. The men who were chosen be among the first to welcome Jesus to this world. How special!
DC Talk. The music of my youth. My first CD. Makers of music I never tire of listening to.

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20 weeks

How my pregnancy is going:
Everybody always seems interested in how pregnant women are feeling, so here is how I am doing. I am feeling great! I still have that pesky nasal congestion, but after it sticking around for the entirety of two other pregnancies, I am kind of used to it. Only a few more months until it’s gone! Sleeping is still mostly comfortable, I can still get up off the floor while holding Victor after nursing him in the middle of the night (yeah, I just plop myself on the floor beside his crib instead of going to the couch in the living room), and heartburn hasn’t kicked in too terribly yet. Well, I never get it bad anyway. Even later in my pregnancies I never feel a lot of the discomforts that are so common for a lot of women, like being kicked in the ribs or other places. I am doing well, and am enjoying being pregnant.

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28

This past weekend I turned 28. 28?! That’s nuts to me! Didn’t I just graduate? Didn’t I just move out of my parents’ house? I’ve actually done a lot with my 28 years. Just in the past decade I’ve travelled to 3 continents (other than North America), made the very first move of my life to a brand new city, lived on my own for 3 years, got married, had 2 children (with another on the way!), and become a home owner. A lot of people can’t say that much at 28. I am so thankful for where my life has all led me.

The weekend was quite a good one. Jordan and Amy stayed with us Wednesday and Thursday night since they had a conference in town, and we celebrated me with an ice cream cake. Yummy! And our friend, Kate, was working in town on Friday so she spent that night as well. Although not birthday-related, the visits were special!

Friday morning some friends and I made a huge batch of wareneki together. I was glad to have something to do that morning to take my mind of the ultrasound I had booked for that afternoon. I was nervous about it! I was hoping for a sweet birthday gift of finding out the gender, but that was not to be. But not to worry. I have to go back next week because they couldn’t get clear measurement of the baby’s heart either. Surprisingly I’m not nervous about that. I actually had a couple weeks at the beginning of my second trimester where I was anxious about the health of our baby. Only for the reason that I’ve had 2 perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies; am I allowed to have another? But that anxiety melted away into just nervousness for finding out the gender. Now, even after hearing that something needs to be looked at again and they also couldn’t see the gender, I am feeling neither of those feelings anymore, which is great!

Saturday morning I had brunch with the ladies from our small group and in the evening my boys and I went out for dinner. The day was also, of course, interspersed with calls and texts from family members. It was a wonderful day!

I tried adding more photos, but it isn’t working for whatever reason. Check back again later if you like!

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My Challenge

I am a homebody. I always have been, and always will be. I am content to be at home. I have never felt trapped in my house, even in the middle of winter. Never have the words “I need to get out of here!” crossed my mind. Home is my happy place.

Besides grocery shopping and the somewhat rare meeting with friends and their kids, the only times I’ve brought both boys off our property on my own are the two times I brought them to the park. Literally. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m being honest.

But today I am having a day where I am feeling like I wish I wasn’t the way I am. I wish I knew what to do outside of our home. It doesn’t help that I have very few interests. Window shopping and paying for attractions like a museum are not one of them.

A part of this is my friendships. I know I’ve been here in Edmonton for almost two years, and have met tons of great people who I do consider my friends, but they have all been here for much longer and have set friendships already. They have their people to hang out with. I feel like an intruder when I want to get together, so I don’t initiate.

The worst part is that I lack motivation and inspirations to change any of this. And also, it’s the way I am! Does it really need to change? When I have days like this I feel like it does.

You have my permission to read this like the pity party that it is. For now I think I will actually use our zoo passes (that we bought to does ourselves out of the house), and go see some meerkats.

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What’s in a Year?

Guest post, written by my husband, Tim.

A year is both a very long and a very short period of time.

A lot can happen in a year, so much that it’s difficult to remember it all. A year ago today Calvin was only eight months old and had just barely started crawling. What a difference from then until now! The little guy has grown up so much during 2013.

At the same time, it seems like 2013 has gone by really quickly. We’ve been living in Edmonton for almost a year and a half. How did that happen!?

When a year can feel so long and so short at the same time, it becomes that much more important to step back and reflect on what we’ve gone through, to remember the special moments and the big events.

Big Events of 2013

Two big events stand out in particular from 2013. The biggest was the arrival of Victor James, a second little dinosaur to add to our collection of prehistoric creatures. Victor showed up early on the morning of October 24, and he’s already brought us so much joy. Every day he gets a little bit cuter and a little bit more interactive. I can’t wait until he and Calvin are able to start playing and growing together!

The second big event was our purchase of a house in Edmonton. When we learned in June that we would soon have to leave our rental, we weighed our options, forecasted our finances, and made the decision to enter the real estate market. We spent about a month going through the purchasing process, and eventually decided to make an offer on one of the first houses we had seen. We negotiated a pretty good price, and got possession at the end of July. So far we’ve made some small improvements (with many thank yous owed to our parents for their help!), and we have some definite goals for future projects, like new windows, new fences, and an expansion of the back yard. Maybe we’ll even got some of that started in 2014!

Looking Ahead

As we stand on the verge of 2014, it would seem that Larissa, Calvin, Victor, and I are in for a “down year” of sorts. The past several years have been absolutely packed with big changes. Just look:

2010

Tim finishes his Master’s degree at the University of Victoria
We start dating, then get engaged

2011

We buy a brand new car (and name him Max)
We get married
We get pregnant with our first child

2012

Calvin is born (April)
We move to Edmonton, where Tim starts a new job

2013

We buy a house
Victor is born (October)

How can we possibly maintain that kind of pace? Is there any way we can come up with another two or more huge, life-altering events?

Only God knows. But as this list demonstrates, He’s been very, very good to us so far, and we know that He will continue to be sufficient for us, no matter what 2014 holds.

The O-Word

Yesterday I read a comment somewhere on the the internet and it left me feeling a little off. It took me a while to figure out what this feeling was, but after a moment, I had it.

I felt offended.

For some this feeling comes easily. But for me, a girl with a small emotional spectrum, offense is one of the extremes I rarely experience.

In the world of parenting especially, you see it all the time. One person does something a certain way, and others chime in with their opinions. I think this is all fine and good because it is good to hear from other experienced people, but when you start having these interactions in text rather than in speech, some of the intention and tone gets lost and feelings get hurt. For those of you who have strangers express their opinions to you in person, I am sorry that I cannot empathize with you on that. I have never had this happen to me. Or maybe I have, but it doesn’t get under my skin, so I forget about it.

I feel blessed to have the natural ability to let things like this roll off my shoulders, and have not once, in my 1.5 years of parenting have I been made to feel like I was an inferior parent for doing things my way. Until yesterday. And it caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to do with this new feeling. I talked things through with Tim and he made me feel better. It made me wish that I could teach others how to not take offense to things because it sucks to feel that way. But how do you teach a natural ability? I find it hard to give advice in any kind of situation for the mere fact that I just do things that make sense. You won’t find any parenting literature on my shelves (except “Bringing Up Boys” because I thought I might need help with that and I have only heard wonderful things about it), and the only reason I read articles online about parenting is to read the comments and see the opinions, because I really enjoy hearing what others have to say and sometimes they make me laugh. I can’t think of a single time where I have implemented a strategy I learned about in literature into my parenting repertoire. You can’t teach common sense, and for that I am sad.

I have discovered a downside to not being easily offended. It’s often hard for me to know what might offend somebody else. Often times I have to reread comments I make in different voices and perspectives to see how others would see it coming off. Many times I rewrite it, and sometimes I just delete it all together. Sometimes I leave it because it is somebody I know and I think they can take it.

Parenting is just one example of where this is applicable in my life.

But anyways. I think I have rambled enough. I don’t know where I wanted this to go, but I just knew that I had these thoughts I wanted to share, even though it is is hard to get my feelings into text.

In other news, Calvin can now say “no”, so depending on the question I ask, his response sometimes offends me.

Just kidding.

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