Tag Archives: pregnancy

These Last Few Days

Here I am, just a few days from my due date with Baby Girl. As per usual, it has taken forever to get here but somehow it hasn’t felt like forever. 

The question of the trimester is “Are you ready?”
Truthfully, I was ready since the day we found out we were expecting. It never takes me any time to get my mind wrapped around the idea of adding another person to our family. In regards to having what we need, yes, we have more than enough. The only thing we really needed was some girly clothing. As okay as it would have been to have our daughter dressed in everything our boys have worn, I am so ready for some feminine touches. And we have been so blessed with hand-me-downs from friends and of course I had to do some of my own shopping. I think she is set for the first year at least! The pack-and-play is set up in the corner of our room. I have a couple things I want to hang on the wall above, and maybe figure out a way to hang a curtain or canopy of some sort around her bed to block some of the light from Tim getting ready in the mornings. I never really felt the need to decorate the corner of our room for the boys, but I’m feeling it for this girl! My backpack for the hospital is packed and the tiny diapers are bought. Yes, we are ready.

I have fallen into a rhythm the last couple months. Our mornings are spent either shuttling Calvin to preschool and back, running errands here and there in between, or hanging out with friends. Our afternoons usually see me taking a doze on the couch while Patrick naps and the other two play with Lego on the kitchen table. I’m actually quite amazed with them. It took a while, but they can spend up to an hour and a half or longer just playing happily and amicably. When I first started trying to have these afternoon naps, it definitely did not look like this. The fought, were disobedient, and Victor was also in the very early days of potty training, so I would often have to get up and intervene or clean messes. But gradually we have gotten to this point where I can zone out for a while and come out feeling refreshed. I’m hoping this can continue in some form once the baby is actually here. 

I don’t think the older two will be phased much when their sister arrives. Since they have gotten so good at playing together, I think that will help immensely. And they are so used to babies from all our friends that it won’t seem new! and wonderful! and the most special thing! They are not super excitable like that. They do, however, enjoy blowing raspberries on my belly. Calvin gets really good “blurps” and has a 100% success rate at making his sister respond. Victor tries hard, but his raspberries are just a bit too timid. Patrick succeeds only in spitting in the general direction on my belly button. I’m not sure how Patrick will react to having a baby around. I was actually holding a three-week-old the other day, and he didn’t seem to mind. Just kept pointing at her and making sure people knew she was there. I am afraid he will want to nurse more. Currently he only nurses at bedtime, but I am so ready for him to be done. Victor only nursed twice after Patrick was born, so maybe that will happen with him too. But he is quite cuddly and might think he’s entitled to more when he sees it being offered to somebody else more often. We will see. 

In the past little while I have been really feeling this as the end of an era. Unless we change our minds, or if God decides to surprise us, this is our last baby. This is my last pregnancy. The last time I get to grow a human inside me and feel them kick and squirm. I am really going to miss those movements. I’m going to miss the boys interacting with my belly. I think I’m going to miss my belly in general. I have especially been thinking about the newborn stage and almost mourning the fact that it will not be the same as having your first newborn at all. I never really thought about it with the second and third, but it’s really on my mind now. With the first, you have so much time to just spend with your newborn child. cuddling with them in bed, watching them sleep, nursing them with zero distractions. I wish I could have that again. But life still chugs on. I will have this new baby, but I will still have to make breakfast for the others, make sure they are dressed before we have to leave for somewhere, be places on time (I don’t let much get in the way of my punctuality :) ), cook dinners for an entire family. How do you enjoy these fleeting newborn moments when your attention is needed in so many other areas? 

Looking towards the delivery, I get nervous sometimes. It sucks when you’ve been through labour and know what to expect. I have quick, fairly easy deliveries, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t suck! Because they do! I’m afraid this labour will either continue the length pattern and be born in exactly zero amount of time on my bathroom floor (my labours have been 6, 4 and 2 hours), or just throw all my history out the window and I’ll be in agony for over a day. Whenever I get anxious about it though, I just skip forward to thinking about the moment they place that baby on my chest. It’s the most amazing feeling. Ugh. Can’t wait! 

Tomorrow evening my sister and brother-in-law and nephew are coming. That means there are two days left for us as a family in our current state. I actually hadn’t thought about that until typing it out just now. We probably won’t do anything special because that’s how we roll. I am hoping to get out for a couple hours on my own tomorrow though. Don’t know what I’ll do, but it will be the last time for a while that I can do that easily. What do you do when you just want to leave the house on your own? I’ll probably end up grocery shopping or something. I need one ingredient for the last freezer meal I want to make. And taking three kids into a store for one ingredient sucks. Not that they are bad shoppers, because they aren’t. I just dislike the taking-outs and putting-ins of the car seats. Especially with their winter stuff on and my physical state. Annoying. Anyway…what did I say before about likely missing my belly when this pregnancy is done? Ha! 

So just a few more days. Or, you know, a week or two. All the boys were late, so it wouldn’t be surprising if she held on past her due date, but she’s the girl! She’s supposed to break the mold! I have definitely become one of those women who say “I carried my boys this way and my girls this way”. This pregnancy has seemed different. I feel her pushing in different areas, my belly looks differently-shaped, and my first trimester food aversions were something new to me. But only God knows when she’ll come. And I’m grateful that he is in control. I just hope he lets me continue my afternoon naps! 

It’s a Girl!

It’s a girl! It’s actually a girl!!

image1

Today we had our ultrasound and the tech confirmed it. We are so thrilled to be adding a daughter and sister to our family! The boys are excited too, although they probably don’t super understand what a girl actually means. Here’s a little video of us telling them. They aren’t the most excitable or expressive children, so don’t watch it with too high of expectations. Haha!

Only a few people know, but this was actually our second ultrasound. Our first one was last week, and the tech then said the thought it might be a girl, which is probably the worst answer you can get. A definite Boy! or Girl! would have been better. But he showed us something on the ultrasound (three lines…if you know what that means, great…if not, google it) that had me pretty convinced, so hearing it confirmed today wasn’t an ultra amazing experience, but we are so happy to have a girl to welcome into our family! One part of me is saying “of course it’s a girl, was there any other option??” and another part is saying “we get a girl? For real?!” It’s a weird experience.

And then there’s this…I get to dig into this box in the bottom corner of the closet that has been sitting around for 4.5 years.image2

My 4th Pregnancy

Hello again! It has been a handful of months since I’ve been here, and I told myself that I wanted to finish documenting our summer and such, but I think I’ll just skip right over it (because nobody will miss it, and I broke my phone and lost a bunch of photos anyway). So, skipping over…

…We found out we are pregnant again! Baby number 4 is on its way, due March 20, just a couple weeks after my 30th birthday. I guess I’ll have to over look my unofficial goal of being done having kids by the time I’m 30. 14021492_10157192166415315_1104246136592307456_n

I feel like going from 3 to 4 is a big jump. 3 is still normal and very acceptable. Having 4 kids puts you over into the world of “wow, you have a big family!”. Only one other person in my peer group has a fourth child on the way. How in the world is it going to be okay for me to ask somebody to watch our brood now?!

Like usual, this pregnancy has been fairly easy on me, physically. No sickness or anything. Just my usual nasal congestion, and an added aversion to snack foods. Why don’t I want that delicious kettle corn?!

However, I have been feeling a lot more anxious this time around. I was super nervous going in to my dating ultrasound. My blood pressure was measuring on the high side at a checkup around 12 weeks, which has never been a problem before. You know what I attribute it to?

1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. This is my 4th. I’m due for one now, right? My mom lost her fourth. Like mother, like daughter? Friends and acquaintances are experiencing loss. It can happen to me too! And we are currently in a month of infant loss awareness, where women everywhere are coming out with their personal stories of heartache over little ones they will never meet this side of heaven. As great as that is for those who need to hear – or tell – those stories, it just reminds me of the possibilities and makes me nervous.

Thankfully, at 18 weeks, I am starting to feel the baby move, so that has definitely calmed my nerves. There is just so much time before that of unknown. Is there actually a baby in there?! My growing belly says a definite “Yes!”

And then there’s the thought of what the baby will be. The same thoughts that my friends, family, and strangers alike are thinking. Is it going to be a girl this time?! It is a huge desire of my heart to have a girl! I want to be a mom to a daughter. I want Tim to be a dad to a daughter. I want our boys to be big brothers to a little sister. I want our family to have a different perspective. I want others to have a different perspective of our family. And also, I need more floral in my life!

When we found out Patrick was a boy, I cried in the ultrasound room. It only took a few moments before I was able to say “three boys is going to be awesome!”, but I feel that this time around will be different, as it will likely be or last child. For almost the entire first trimester, this was a more-than-daily thought process:
What’s it going to be?
I hope it’s a girl!
What if it’s a boy?
Oh no! What if it’s a boy!
I get anxious.
I pray for peace and thank God that he knows best.
I think about all the future daughters-in-law.

The anxiety surrounding the gender has greatly diminished since thinking of a boy’s name about a month ago. Knowing that we have a name to attach to a possible boy makes things a lot easier. It’s a real person in there, with a personality and everything! And knowing that a 4th boy would still be different than the other 3 is comforting.

But until we hear otherwise, the hope for a girl is still strong.

15 weeks

15 weeks

 And that’s where we are now. I will have my ultrasound in the next couple weeks. If you can pray for continued peace for us as we go in, and with the outcome, we would be so grateful. Knowing that God loves us and has a plan that shows us that is very comforting.

Patrick’s Birth

Birth Story 2Patrick John
August 7, 2015 – 11:10PM
9lbs4oz – 21″

Our baby’s due date was August 3/4. For some reason I truly thought I would be early this time, but it wasn’t to be. On August 4th, I didn’t have another OB appointment booked until the 7th, but I wanted to see if she could get things going with a sweep like she did last time. I called to see if they happened to have a cancellation that day, and they did! I got my sweep, and although it made me lose a bunch of mucous over the next few days, it didn’t do much. I was only about 2cm dilated and my cervix was still fairly long and hard.

On Thursday, the 6th, I began to feel very minor cramping at really random times during the day. So minor I didn’t even mention it to anybody until the end of the day. On Friday, the 7th, those cramps became a bit stronger in the afternoon, but still very manageable; easy to ignore. I mentioned at supper time to Tim and my mom that I was feeling stuff. After supper we were watching a movie and I got up off the couch to get popcorn around 7:00pm. I felt a little something gush from me so I went to the bathroom and passed a blood clot. That didn’t seem quite normal to me so I called labour and delivery and they had me come in to be checked.

We got there around 7:30 and I was hooked up to the monitors. Baby was doing well but I was still bleeding a tiny bit. The OB checked me and found me to be about 3-4cm. She decided it would be best to induce me, just out of precaution. They didn’t really know what could be wrong, if anything, but I was feeling up for having a baby that night, so I agreed!

I was hooked up to the oxytocin at 9:00pm, on the very lowest setting. I was continuing to get my manageable cramps regularly. At 9:30 the OB broke my water and the first cramp after that was noticeably no longer just a cramp. I was having real contractions! They probably could have done just that, without putting me on the drip! According to my history, I have short labours and the breaking of my water is followed fairly quickly by delivery. So I was pretty much expecting to have a Friday baby yet.

The contractions started to become stronger and I changed positions. I had been on my hands and knees with Tim applying pressure to my back during contractions since that’s where I was feeling all my pain. But at some point I flipped onto my back and I started to feel the pain in the front. Soon after, I asked for the gas. I don’t know how much it actually helps for the pain or just gives me something to focus on, but for me the gas is pretty helpful. The OB came in probably just before 11 to check to see where I was at since she had a c-section getting ready to go. I was only 7cm, so off she went. With my very next contraction I started to feel more pressure, and after the next contraction after that, the nurse checked me again and I was 8cm! One more contraction brought me to 9cm and I was really wanting to push! I heard the OB ask to hold off on the spinal for the section, but upon hearing that it was already in, I think I heard her utter a small curse word. Apparently there were 4 births happening all at once! I was very ready to push this baby out of me, and thought the resident was the one there, telling me when to push and when to stop, but later Tim told me that the OB was actually there. Just in and out super quick. I heard voices telling me to push, big one, small ones, then I heard “we have a shoulder!”. Apparently the shoulder got stuck. And apparently my nurse jumped on me to help it out. I had no clue until she apologized after the fact. Birth is the one and only time you can be jumped on by a person and not even realize it.Birth Story 1

He surprised us all by being 9lb4oz. His brothers were 7lb3oz and 7lb10oz, so I was not expecting that! Because of his size, he got his shoulder a little stuck and caused some second degree tearing.

Looking back at all my labours, I can say that I felt the most aware and alert between contractions during this one. I think I talked and maybe even laughed at little jokes. I don’t remember anything between contractions of my other births. I did realize, though, that I keep my eyes shut during the entire thing. Too much effort to keep them open! Smiling, yes. Opening my eyes, no.

It’s a little alarming, thinking about a 4th birth. I now have three pieces of data to form a pattern of my labours, and it is this: first was 6 hours, second was 4, third was 2. Fourth is…0?!?Birth Story 3

Patrick is just a name we liked that happened to follow a little “hard C” pattern of the other boys’ names. John is Tim’s dad’s middle name (Calvin’s middle name is William – shared with Tim; Victor’s middle name is James – shared with my dad).

If you are curious about my other births, find them here:
Calvin’s Birth Story
Victor’s Birth Story

While We Wait

So today (or yesterday, depending on who you ask or when you asked me apparently) I am 40 weeks! It’s due date, baby! And yes, I am still sitting here feeling very pregnant and not like that is going to change any time soon. So much for my hunch of him being early.

It’s a weird feeling, when I think about actually having a newborn again. I went to visit a friend and her 4-day-old yesterday and it was so strange to think that I actually have one of those inside of me! And that it is soon going to be outside of me!

I am looking forward to the next 6ish weeks. My mom got here a couple days ago. She was originally going to just come when I went into labour, but she found a good deal on a flight. And it was actually really nice to think of the fact that I had no more days left to entertain the boys on my own. And then at some point Tim’s parents will come, and then later in the month my sister will visit! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love having company! If all goes according to plan, we will drive back to BC with the help of my sister and spend almost 2 weeks there.

I have been thinking of life with three children, and it is a little daunting, mostly when thinking about the winter and being inside most of the time. I know most of my grocery shopping will likely have to be done in the evenings, but Calvin will probably miss Costco if I never take him. And I will actually miss taking the boys grocery shopping more often. They are good and like it, which makes me enjoy it too.

But we live in a small house. I think I am going to have to get into a real good groove when it comes to keeping this place tidy and the kitchen mostly clean. I actually tried washing the dishes every day for a while, but have been quite slacking on it in the past couple weeks. I’m gonna have to get back on that. Once all my dish-washing-company is gone. I kid! But not really. I have wonderful, helpful family members. I think I am also going to get into a habit of inviting people over. We aren’t putting Calvin is preschool yet, but he needs interaction with other people. And I love having people over. I don’t do it nearly enough right now. I will change that.

Also, thinking ahead to life with three boys, I feel like I am going to want more femininity in my life. Like, maybe actually wear jewelry or something! Shocking! The last few times I’ve worn earrings I’ve had to poke it through grown-over skin. And I generally don’t like necklaces because they just get in the way. Scarves too. And my Old Navy Basics wardrobe is getting kind of boring. I don’t know…should I push those aspects of who I am aside, or change who I am, to feel less like a member of a family that is all boys?

Anyway…

IMG_1320Time to get back to my waiting. Hopefully not for more than a day or two! My doctor is on call tonight so she said it’s a good day to have a baby. Let’s see if baby heard her opinion and will heed it.