I am a homebody. I always have been, and always will be. I am content to be at home. I have never felt trapped in my house, even in the middle of winter. Never have the words “I need to get out of here!” crossed my mind. Home is my happy place.
Besides grocery shopping and the somewhat rare meeting with friends and their kids, the only times I’ve brought both boys off our property on my own are the two times I brought them to the park. Literally. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m being honest.
But today I am having a day where I am feeling like I wish I wasn’t the way I am. I wish I knew what to do outside of our home. It doesn’t help that I have very few interests. Window shopping and paying for attractions like a museum are not one of them.
A part of this is my friendships. I know I’ve been here in Edmonton for almost two years, and have met tons of great people who I do consider my friends, but they have all been here for much longer and have set friendships already. They have their people to hang out with. I feel like an intruder when I want to get together, so I don’t initiate.
The worst part is that I lack motivation and inspirations to change any of this. And also, it’s the way I am! Does it really need to change? When I have days like this I feel like it does.
You have my permission to read this like the pity party that it is. For now I think I will actually use our zoo passes (that we bought to does ourselves out of the house), and go see some meerkats.